Ryan and I could tell that he was getting uneasy about Kindergarten as the end of summer approached. And on the way to meet his teacher, he meekly whispered to Ryan - "Its ok, dad. I think I will just stay in Preschool this year." Ryan (being Brecken's hero) convinced him that things would be fine and after the meet and greet concluded, he seemed to be ok with the idea of Kindergarten.
The night before his big day, he couldn't calm down. He couldn't go to sleep, he was restless, he was nervous - a side of Breck that we just don't see very often. We got him all ready for school and we even had time for him to go to Grandma and Grandpa Stokoszynski's to start his big day off right - with Grandma's breakfast.
Brecken and I decided to drop Ryder off at his classroom first. On the way back to his classroom, his grip on my hand tightened. I gave him a little encouraging squeeze and a smile - hoping it would provide some sort of comfort to my tough little guy that was feeling so unsure about everything. As his friends approached, he stood by my side, silent as can be. (Again, for those of you who know Breck - this is a rarity.) I asked him if he was ok. He just nodded. What I wouldn't have gave at that very moment to scoop him up and take him back home - back where he felt safe and sure of himself - after all, new situations can be terrifying. But, I knew this day would just circle back and I also knew that he would - just like every other challenge - find a way to get through it with a big smile on his face. I asked him if it was ok if I left. This time he did speak, but only to tell me no.
So, I bent down and whispered in his ear that he is brave, smart, and strong and he will have a great day. His response: "Yup!" So, with that, I kissed him on the cheek, told him I loved him, was proud of him, and wished him a great first day. And true to Brecken's character - he came out on top. He had an amazing first day!
I found this that seemed to be a perfect description of the day:
"I wonder what you are doing right now, and if everyone is treating you kind.
I hope there is a special person, a nice friend that you can find.
I wonder if the teacher knows just how special you are to me.
And if the brightness of your heart is something she can see.
I wonder if you are thinking about me, and if you need a hug.
I already miss the sound of your voice and how you give my leg a tug.
I wonder if you could ever possibly understand how hard it is for me to let you grow.
On this day, know that my heart breaks because it is the first step in letting my baby go."
I love you Brecken Alexander, and am more proud of you than you will ever know!